Dear Doctor Love,
I’ve been dating a guy from San Pedro for about eight months now, but I live in Belmopan. We met through mutual friends and usually visit each other once or twice a month. He’s charming, caring, and I’ve met his family, who are very welcoming. But lately, I feel like I’m the one always doing the traveling. He says he can’t leave the island because of work, which I understand, but it’s getting tiring (and expensive) to always be the one making the effort. I’ve started wondering if he’s really serious or just keeping me around because it’s convenient. Should I bring it up and risk sounding needy? Or am I overthinking this? /s/ Commuting for love
Dear Commuting for Love,
Love relationships are about balance. It’s not about tallying the miles or the hours, but about the time you two share.
You’re not needy for wanting the effort to flow both ways. It’s a human need to be seen, to feel like you’re not the only one trying. The travel’s expensive in both time and energy. When you feel drained, it’s a sign that something’s off-balance.
So, no, you’re not overthinking this. But I would say, think of it like this: when you bring it up, it’s not about sounding needy, but about letting him in. Tell him how it feels. If he’s as serious as you are, he’ll want to figure this out with you.
If he’s the right guy, he won’t mind taking the wheel every now and then. Maybe even offering to pay for your travel expenses. Relationships require effort from both sides not just convenience.
Take care of your heart, Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I live near a popular bar in town, and I’m fed up. Every weekend the music blasts way past midnight. I’ve spoken to the owner twice, and nothing’s changed. I know tourism is important, but what about residents who have to work early or have kids? How can I deal with this without causing drama in my neighborhood? /s/ Sleep-Deprived
Dear Sleep-Deprived,
The sound of silence is so precious, isn’t it? But there’s a way to shift things without stirring up chaos. You’ve already made your peaceful attempts, and that’s good. Sometimes, when you’re dealing with noise, you need a collective voice.
Gather the other neighbors who are also bothered by the late-night beats. When you speak with one unified voice, it carries more weight. And when you approach the owner, do it from a place of understanding—tourism matters, but so does the well-being of the people who live and work there.
Find a balance between respecting their hustle and advocating for your peace and quiet. When you come with a solution, not just a complaint, you’ve got a better shot at making it work. Maybe asking them to invest in a noise canceling system.
Here’s hoping for some quieter nights ahead, Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I’m a 29-year-old man living and working as a bartender in San Pedro. I’ve been in a serious relationship for almost three years with a woman who moved here from Placencia. She works in real estate, is independent, and really pushes me to do better in life. Because of her, I’ve stopped wasting money, started saving, and even cut back on weekend partying to focus more on my goals. The issue is my mom, who also lives on the island. She says my girlfriend is “bossy” and “acting like she better than people.” I’ve tried explaining that she’s just focused and has a strong personality, but my mom insists she’s changing me. The truth is, I have changed, but in a good way. Now my mom barely speaks to my girlfriend, and when we’re all in the same space, the tension is uncomfortable. My girlfriend is getting tired of the passive-aggressive comments and is starting to avoid family events altogether. I love my mom, but I also love my girlfriend and see a future with her. How do I set boundaries without disrespecting my mother or risking my relationship? /s/ Caught Between my Girlfriend and my Mom
Dear Caught Between,
You are at the push and pull between loyalty to family and love for your partner it’s one of those crossroads where you feel like you can’t please both sides. But here’s what I want you to remember: it’s possible to love your mom without sacrificing your relationship. Both can exist in harmony.
Your mom’s love for you is deep, but when people love, sometimes they struggle to accept change especially when it’s a change that challenges the familiar. Your girlfriend’s strength and drive aren’t about “changing” you. They’re about helping you become a better version of yourself. That’s a gift, not a threat.
You need to talk to your mom gently, but firmly. Let her know that you’ve grown, and that’s a good thing. Stand your ground without putting her down. Respect her, but don’t let her undermine the person you’ve become. With your girlfriend, it’s about understanding and patience. It may take some time for both of them to adjust, but this tension isn’t going to disappear on its own.
Boundaries don’t mean shutting people outthey’re about showing love while protecting what you’ve built. You’ve got this. Stand strong, with love.
Sending peace, Dr. Love
Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]
