Dear Doctor Love,
My boyfriend says he’s “saving money,” but every weekend he’s at the bar throwing back Belikins like he owns the place. Meanwhile, I’m budgeting like crazy and still can’t afford a decent grocery run. With how expensive living on the island is, his spending habits are affecting my ability to keep up with day-to-day life. Since we live together, I end up shouldering the majority of the expenses. Am I being too harsh, or is it time for a financial reality check (and maybe a new man)? /s/ Financially Irresponsible
Dear Financially Irresponsible,
I hear you loud and clear. Look, you’re not being harsh – you’re being honest with yourself. Love can’t pay the grocery bill, and it sure won’t keep the lights on when he’s off sipping beers like a retired king. You’re seeing the writing on the wall: if his actions are affecting your peace of mind, your wallet, and your ability to feel secure at home, then yes, it’s time for a financial reality check. Whether it’s with him or with yourself about what you’re willing to accept, that’s your next step. And as for maybe needing a new man… sometimes we don’t need a new man, we just need to remember we’re capable of standing on our own two feet, even if it means letting go of the dead weight. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I have been living in Belize for 3 years now. I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months, and everything’s great except he still talks to his ex like they’re besties. He says it’s “island life” and everyone stays friends, but I’m starting to feel like I’m sharing space in his heart. Am I being insecure or just not used to the Belizean way of breakups? /s/ A little jealous
Dear A little jealous,
Jealousy is just your heart waving a little flag saying, “Hey, I need reassurance.” There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel secure in your relationship. Yes, Belize is small and people tend to stay friendly with their exes – partly because you can’t exactly avoid each other at the fruit stand or the beach bar. But that doesn’t mean your feelings don’t matter. You’re not being insecure, you’re being human. Have an honest talk with him, not from a place of accusation but from a place of, “Hey, this makes me feel uneasy. Can you help me feel secure?” If he brushes you off, then you’ve got your answer about where you stand. If he cares, he’ll make sure you know you’re the only woman sitting in his heart right now. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I live in a low-lying part of the island, and my neighbor recently decided to clear a bunch of mangroves from his yard to “make more space.” Now, every time it rains, even just a light drizzle, my yard floods faster than the lagoon during a king tide. I tried to explain to him that the mangroves were helping with drainage and protecting our little corner of the neighborhood, but he just shrugged and said it’s his land and I should “build higher or get a pump.” I want to keep the peace, but I’m also tired of wading through ankle-deep water to get to my front door. How do I stand up for the environment (and my dry shoes) without starting an island feud? /s/ Flooded
Dear Flooded,
That’s a rough one. Mangroves are the quiet heroes of this island, and cutting them down is like removing your own foundation brick by brick. You’ve already done the right thing by talking to him directly. Now, it’s time to go bigger. Gather your facts about local environmental protection laws. Contact the Department of Environment or the local conservation groups – not to “report him” but to ask what your options are. You can’t control what he does, but you can stand up for what’s right without making it personal. Keep your approach calm and focused on protecting everyone’s property, not just yours. At the end of the day, you’ll know you didn’t stay silent while the land beneath your feet was washed away. /s/ Dr. Love
Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]
