Dear Doctor Love,
There’s this friend, let’s call him “Captain Clueless,” who thinks we are meant to be, but I’m just here for the friendship. He drops hints like anvils, and I dodge them like I’m in an emotional obstacle course.
How do I gently tell him that I like him… just not in the “ride-off-into-the-sunset” way? Is there a kind way to burst someone’s love bubble without looking like the villain in his daydreams and ruining our friendship? We have so much fun hanging out, I wouldn’t want to completely lose him from my life. /s/ Not That Into You
Hey Not That Into You,
Whew. Emotional obstacle course is right. You don’t need to keep dodging forever. The kindest thing you can do, for both of you, is be real.
Next time he drops one of those romantic gestures, don’t just sidestep—gently catch it and hand it back with compassion. Try something like,
“You know I love hanging out with you. You’re one of my favorite people, truly. But I want to be honest… I don’t feel that spark romantically. I just value you as a friend, and I hope we can keep that going.”
Be warm. Be steady. And expect that he might need a little space at first. But if he’s the good friend you say he is, he’ll find his footing again and maybe even thank you one day for not leading him on.
Truth, when spoken with kindness, is never cruel. It just clears the air so both of you can breathe. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I know you’re usually the go-to for matters of the heart, but I’m hoping you can help with a different kind of love: the tough kind that comes with family.
My parents are spending money like there’s no tomorrow. They are both hardworking, and I get wanting to treat yourself with your head-earned money, but I’m genuinely worried about their future. Retirement is around the corner, and I’m worried they won’t have enough when they really need it. I’ve tried hinting at my concerns, but they brush it off or say, “We deserve to enjoy life.”
How do I talk to them without sounding ungrateful or preachy? I love them too much to watch them dig a financial hole they can’t get out of. P.S., as their daughter, I will always help them out too, but I can maintain both of them and still support myself forever, and that is my biggest concern. /s/ Worried about my parents’ future
Hey Worried,
That’s not just love you’re carrying—it’s responsibility, empathy, and a whole lot of heart. You’re seeing a storm they don’t want to look at, and you’re already bracing for it on their behalf. That’s tough.
Try approaching it from the side door, not the front. Not, “You need to stop spending,” but instead,
“Can we sit down and look at a plan together? I’m not trying to control anything, I just want to be sure we’re all going to be okay later.”
You might frame it in terms of your own future too.
“I know I’ll always help however I can, but I’m scared I won’t be able to give you the life you deserve and still keep mine afloat.”
You’re not scolding. You’re building a bridge. Remind them that this conversation isn’t about denying joy now—it’s about making sure they have joy later, too.
And remember, this isn’t one talk. It’s a gentle, ongoing dialogue. Drop seeds, not ultimatums. They may not get it all at once, but keep showing them it’s coming from a place of deep love. You can even come up with investment plans together—like buying a rental property that could increase in value and benefit you both. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
How do I lovingly break it to my parents that we are no longer living in 1994?
Every time I pick up my phone, they act like I’m summoning the apocalypse. They talk about “face-to-face communication” like it’s some endangered species, and they think TikTok is the sound a clock makes. I tried explaining that I am socializing, just not with people who think forwarding chain emails is a form of activism.
How do I gently (okay, maybe not so gently) explain to my dear, clueless creators that this is the digital age, and I don’t need to make eye contact with someone to love them deeply through memes? /s/ Born Online
Hey Born Online,
Ah, the generational tech tug-of-war. We’ve all been there. You’re living in a world of memes and DMs; they’re still wondering why the cordless phone has no cord.
Here’s the key: validation first, then education. Say something like,
“I know things were different when you were my age, and I get that constant screen time looks weird. But for me, this is how I stay connected. It’s not about avoiding people—it’s about finding them.”
Help them see what you see: the comfort of a shared reel, the way a quick emoji can say “I’m thinking of you,” the joy in a TikTok laugh. Heck, show them one.
And let’s be real—maybe throw in a tech-free dinner once in a while, just to show you’re meeting them halfway. It’s not about convincing them you’re right. It’s about helping them understand your world, not fear it.
You’re not dragging them into 2025. You’re inviting them to visit—with grace, and WiFi. But also don’t forget to also disconnect and be present. /s/ Dr. Love
Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]
