Dear Doctor Love,
I live here in San Pedro and my family is on the mainland. I work hard and yes, the island expensive but I manage. Lately every week somebody in my family message me asking for money, small small at first but now it getting bigger. If I say no, they make me feel guilty and say I “forget where I come from.” I love them, but I can’t keep being everybody’s ATM. How do I set boundaries without looking like the bad guy? /s/ Family Money Boundaries
Dear Family Money Boundaries,
You’re not wrong for feeling tired, my friend. Giving is good, but when it starts to leave you empty, it’s time to breathe and step back. Love doesn’t mean saying “yes” every time sometimes love means being honest about your limits.
The guilt they throw at you? That’s just their way of trying to keep things how they’ve always been. But you’re changing, and that’s okay. You can care for your family without carrying them. When they ask, tell them kindly, “I can’t this time.” You don’t need to explain. Your peace is not selfish it’s necessary.
Stand firm, but stay soft. The ones who truly love you will understand, even if it takes them a while. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I love my family, but lately my evangelist cousins really testing my patience. Every time we gather they quoting scripture and talking about living righteous, yet they spend half the time gossiping and criticizing everybody — who “living in sin,” who “look too worldly,” all that kinda thing. I try stay quiet, but honestly it feel hypocritical and draining. I don’t want to cause family drama or disrespect anybody’s faith, but I also can’t sit down and smile while they tear people down in the name of religion. How do I tell them to stop without sounding rude or starting a big family quarrel? /s/ Trying To Keep The Peace
Dear Trying To Keep The Peace,
It’s hard when people mix faith with judgment. You’re not wrong for wanting peace it just shows you’re tired of the noise. Sometimes people preach the loudest when they’re trying to quiet their own doubts.
You don’t need to argue or match their energy. The next time it starts, you can say something simple like, “Let’s not talk bad about people we all have our own path.” Then let it go. You don’t have to prove your point. Peace speaks louder than any sermon.
Keep your spirit calm and your words few. You’ll find that quiet truth unsettles those who thrive on gossip and that’s how change starts, one calm voice at a time. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I’ve been living on the island a few years now, and something that breaks my heart every day is how some people treat animals here. I see dogs tied up with no shade or water, kids throwing rocks at cats, and people thinking it’s funny when an animal is suffering. Not everybody is like this, of course, but too many act like animals don’t feel pain or matter. I don’t want to come off like I judging or attacking my own community, but this kind of behavior is cruel and backwards. How can I speak up or help change this mindset without starting fights or sounding like I “care more about animals than people,” which is what some already say? /s/ Heartbroken Animal Lover
Dear Heartbroken Animal Lover,
That soft heart of yours is a blessing don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed for it. Seeing pain and wanting to help is what makes the world less cruel. But change doesn’t come from arguing; it comes from example.
Start with one act of kindness at a time. Help a neighbor’s dog. Share water and food. When people see your quiet care, it plants a seed. You don’t have to lecture anyone just live what you believe.
And when someone says you love animals more than people, smile and say, “Love is love it all comes from the same place.” Keep showing kindness, even when others don’t understand it yet. That’s how hearts wake up. /s/ Dr
Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]
