Sunday, April 21, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofers: First Confession


Dennis-Wolfe-Wolfes-Woofers“Hey, Dennis. I’ll be ready in a few minutes.”
“Take your time Steve,” I said. “I’ll gladly wait.”
My friend Steve had offered me a ride in his car from Belmopan to Belize City. I hate riding the bus so I was looking forward to the trip.
“We have to make one stop,” Steve said. “The priest from our village church is giving his retirement speech today. It will take less than half an hour.”
“I’m right there with you,” I said.
An elder of the church took the pulpit and said, “Our area representative was supposed to give a speech but he has been delayed. Father Grimes will now give his retirement speech.”
“I arrived in this parish twenty-five years ago,” the priest said. “I thought I had arrived in a terrible place. My first impression came from the first confession I heard and frankly, I was shocked. The man admitted to stealing a boat motor and lying his way out of it when he was questioned by the police.”
He paused,
“Then he admitted to stealing money from his parents and embezzling funds at his job. In the meantime he was carrying on an affair with his boss’s wife. He even managed to get his best friend’s wife and seventeen year-old daughter pregnant at the same time. I could not believe that one man could do so many terrible things. But as time went on I learned that all my people were not like that. I had indeed come to a fine parish of good and loving people.”
Just as the priest finished his speech the politician rushed in. He made straight for the podium where he grabbed a microphone.
“I’ll never forget the day Father Grimes arrived in our village,” he said. “As a matter of fact I had the honor of being the first person to go him for confession.”

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