Tuesday, May 21, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofer: Check Up


Dennis-Wolfe-Wolfes-Woofers“Have a seat Mr. Wolfe,” the nurse said. “You’re here for a blood test; right?”
I took the only available seat. It was between a mother with a pair of four year-old twins and a pretty young lady in her mid-twenties.
“The doctor will be with you shortly,” the nurse said to me.
She took the mother with the twins into the nearest examining room. The twins immediately began screaming at the top of their lungs.
“Oh, be quiet Juan,” I heard the mother say. “The doctor is just giving you a check up. You too, Miguel.”
The twins screamed louder than ever. The young lady looked at me and raised her eyebrows.
“I’m here for a check up, too,” she said. “I hope mine is not as bad as it sounds for these little guys.”
The twin’s mother came out, dragging the boys behind her. They each had a lollipop to keep them quiet on their way out. The nurse came to get the young lady and suddenly the waiting room became extremely quiet. The nurse came out of the examination room and did not completely close the door.
“O.K. Take a deep breath,” I heard the doctor say.
After a pause he said, “Your heart and lungs are fine. Put your arm right here while I check your pulse.”
“Your pulse is normal,” he said, after a minute. “Now, I’m going to put this cuff around your arm to take your blood pressure.”
Shortly after that I heard him say, “Your blood pressure is 110 over 70. That is excellent.”
“Now,” he said, “I need to see the bit that gets you ladies in all sorts of trouble.”
Then he said, “Oh, no. Keep your clothes on. Just stick out your tongue.”

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