Wolfe’s Woofer: World’s Greatest Fisherman
Sunday, August 14th, 2016
“I signed up for that fishing seminar with Professor Bob Englehart, the guy from that TV fishing show called World’s Greatest Fisherman.”
“What?!” Sherry said. “I’ve never known you to catch a fish. Oh, and that seminar costs a hundred and twenty five dollars.”
“Hey, I’m retired and I’m on vacation,” I said. “It’s money well spent.”
On our extended Mexican vacation we were at a hotel in Cozumel when I saw the sign in the lobby advertising Professor Bob’s class. I always wanted to be a good fisherman so I went down to the hotel lobby and paid the fee. I was directed to a room where the class was just starting. There were fifteen tables in the room and each table had a grouper lying on it along with several knives
“Ladies and gentlemen you have paid a great deal of money to learn from me,” Professor Bob said. “To get your money’s worth you must be observant and pay strict attention. Please follow my directions and do exactly as I say.”
I was already liking this. Professor Bob seemed to be all business.
“You may wonder why there is a fish and knives in front of each of you,” he said. “I will teach you to catch fish but it is just as important that I teach you how to clean them first. Let us proceed.”
“Turn your fish over like this,” he said, “Grasp it at the head with your left hand. It is now lying on the dorsal fin, the large one on its back.”
All fifteen of us rolled our fish over.
“Notice that there is now a large fin near the tail. This is the anal fin. Behind the anal fin is a small hole which is the anus. Everyone please stick your forefinger in the anal hole.”
We students all looked at each other but one by one we did as he said.
“Now, remove your finger,” Professor Bob said. “Stick it in your mouth and lick it like this.”
He licked his finger. It took awhile to get up the courage but eventually we all licked our fingers.
Professor Bob said, “The first thing I told you is that you must be observant. How many of you noticed that I licked my middle finger?”
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