Dear Doctor Love,
I live with my man for six years now and we got two kids together. Lately things rough because money just noh stretch like before. He do construction and I pick up cleaning jobs when I can, but by the time we pay rent and buy groceries, nothing left. He gets frustrated and we fight, and I feel like we drifting apart. I love him and I know he loves me, but the stress di weigh we down. We used to laugh and enjoy simple tings like walking on the beach with the kids, now all we talk about is bills. I really want us to stay strong for the children, but sometimes I feel like the pressure will end the relationship. How can I bring back that closeness and joy when life feel so heavy right now? /s/ Under pressure
Dear Under Pressure,
Pressure could break rocks, but it could also make diamonds. What you and your man have is still there just hiding under the weight of bills and tiredness. Sometimes we forget that love doesn’t come from what we can buy, but from the time and attention we give each other.
You don’t need plenty money to laugh with him again. Go back to them simple things walk on the beach, sit outside after the children gone to bed, cook something together. Even a small moment of peace together can remind both of you that you’re partners, not enemies.
And when he vex, remind him you see his effort. A man who feels respected in the struggle will fight harder for his family. Tell him you’re proud, even when things short.
Stay steady, choose each other daily, and you will find the closeness again even in the middle of hard times. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I been seeing this guy for about four months and he is sweet but he still goes out almost every night with his boys. Sometimes I do not hear from him till the next day. I know San Pedro is small and people talk, and I do not want to look like the fool. Should I give him more time to settle down or should I just move on before I get hurt? /s/ The Beginning or the End
Dear Beginning or the End,
Four months is long enough to see what a man truly choose. Right now he choose the streets and his friends more than he choose you. That’s not to say he doesn’t like you it’s just that he’s not ready to plant his feet in one place.
You could wait and hope he change, but waiting often only hurts the heart. A man who wants to settle down won’t make you feel like you’re begging for his time.
So ask yourself: do you want to gamble on “maybe,” or do you want a love that shows up every night, not just when it convenient? Don’t fool yourself see him for who he is today, not who you hope he will be tomorrow.
Better to walk away with your pride than stay and feel small. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
My son is 13 and he already starting to act like he bigger than me. He talks back, does not want to help around the house, and spends too much time on his phone. When I take it away, he gets upset and tells me I am unfair. I want to raise him good, but I also do not want to be fighting every day. Most of my family tell me to just beat him, but I feel like that will only make him more angry. How do I get through to him without making our home full of tension? /s/ Parenting a Teen
Dear Parenting a Teen,
Thirteen is a hard age for the child and for the parent. He is not a little boy anymore, but he is not a man either. He’s testing his strength, his words, and your patience.
Beating him won’t bring respect; it will only push him away. What works is steady rules mixed with steady love. Take the phone when you must, but explain why. Give him chores and don’t back down when he resists. And when he does good, notice it let him feel that you see more than just his mistakes.
The fight now is not against your son, but for your son. Show him firmness without anger, love without weakness. In time, the same child who rolls his eyes will look back and thank you for not giving up on him. /s/Dr. Love
Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]
