Readers, please send your letters. They can be emails, formal letters or handwritten notes. They are edited solely for grammar and spelling. Also, they are sometimes edited for length.
Dear Doctor Love,
My wedding is coming up shortly. My fiancé has been handling the plans for the wedding. The wedding date is four months away which is not really as far off as it sounds. There is a lot to consider.
I am starting to get worried about this marriage, though. My fiancé does not seem to be very excited about the whole thing. As a matter of fact everyone involved in the wedding seems to be more excited than she is. She does not seem to care about anything from the color of the bridesmaid’s dresses to where the reception will be held. She has let somebody else make all of those decisions. When I asked her about this she said none of it is important anyway. She said she is only having a big wedding because her family wants it. Yesterday she told me that she considers a big wedding a waste of money. She says the only thing that is really important is the ceremony itself.
Maybe she wants out and does not know how to tell me. Should I ask her if she wants to reconsider this?
/s/ Cold Feet
Dear Cold,
Your fiancé does not act like someone who wants out of a coming marriage. Since she seems to have no trouble speaking her mind it is fairly certain that she would tell you. As a matter of fact, she seems to have a practical streak. Her practical streak recognizes the importance of a wedding ceremony versus the trappings that surround a wedding. After all, a civil ceremony and a huge wedding both accomplish the same things.
Dear Doctor Love,
A girl at work started telling me about having an affair. I was shocked and uncomfortable when I realized what she was telling me but it was too late to stop her. I was even more shocked when I found out the person she is having the affair with is someone I know. I know his wife and she is a friend of mine.
Should I tell this guy’s wife? I know I would be making two enemies but I hate to see her hurt.
/s/ Deeply Concerned
Dear Concerned,
If you tell her, chances are that she will end up hating you too because she will associate you with the pain and embarrassment of the situation. Try talking with your workmate first. Tell her you know the guy’s wife and urge her to end this. Perhaps she will see this as a threat to tell the wife and will cut the affair off.
