Readers, please send your letters. They can be emails, formal letters or handwritten notes. They are edited solely for grammar and spelling. Also, they are sometimes edited for length.
Dear Doctor Love,
My six year old daughter has a terrible temper, and my wife doesn’t do anything about it. My little girl screams and throws fits on the floor. She kicks at her mother and even calls my wife stupid and smacks her. My wife says our daughter will outgrow it, but it is getting worse. She is even mean to her playmates. What should I do?
/s/Not Daddy’s Little Angel
Dear Daddy,
You and your wife are, unfortunately, raising a brat. You are included along with your wife because you are not doing anything about it either. Would you call your wife stupid or allow anyone else to do so? If not, then why are you not stepping in and telling your daughter that she is absolutely not allowed to call her mother names? You stand by and say nothing but you both have a hand in raising your daughter and it will take both of you to turn this around.
Your child may have picked up these bad behaviors from watching television or playmates but that doesn’t mean you’re not responsible to correct it. You are the parents and it is your job to make sure that your child knows right from wrong and good from bad. If your daughter is biting, whining, or hitting and you just keep saying to yourself, “Well, that’s what children do; it’s a phase and it will pass”, or you try to negotiate or explain to her why she has do what you ask, you’re not holding her accountable for her bad behavior or teaching her proper behaviors.
Many parents think they will ruin their child for life if they punish them or take away privileges, but in fact the opposite is true. What it’s going to do is set them up for a lifetime of treating you respectfully and maturing into an adult that others respect. Your little girl won’t remember that time you put her in her room instead of letting her scream on the floor or when she was denied ice cream because she called you a nasty name. What she will remember is that her mom and dad loved her enough to make sure that she has good tools to help her grow up and mature. Boundaries are a sign of a parents love, not cruelty. Parents who love their child enough to teach her a better way. Your wife must stop ignoring the tantrums and you need to get off the bench and get in the game.
