Dear Doctor Love,
I recently saw the video going around of bartenders in San Pedro behaving in a very sexual way with tourists inside what is supposed to be a family friendly place. As a parent, I feel uncomfortable bringing my children to restaurants and bars if this kind of thing is considered normal now. At the same time, some people are saying it is “just entertainment” and part of the tourism culture. I do not want to be judgmental, but I also do not think it is fair that families and locals feel pushed out of spaces because of inappropriate behavior. How do we balance tourism fun with respect for community values? /s/ proper Behaviour
Dear Proper Behaviour,
You’re right to feel uneasy. What you saw wasn’t “just entertainment,” it was a choice by that business to lean more into tourists’ dollars than the dignity of the community. Tourism will always bring a certain amount of wildness, but the balance comes from each place deciding what kind of house it wants to keep. A bar can make money without turning itself into a strip show. And families should not feel pushed out of their own community spaces. However it is still a bar.
The truth is, you don’t have to judge but you can choose. If a business makes you uncomfortable, don’t bring your children there. Spend your money where respect is still part of the service. Over time, businesses either adjust to the community standard or they become known for the crowd they attract.
Balance doesn’t come from you swallowing discomfort—it comes from people, locals and visitors alike, choosing what they will and won’t support. That’s how community values survive. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I recently lent a good friend some money to help him pay his overdue rent, but now he is avoiding me. Every time I see him in town, he says he will “sort me out next week,” but it has been two months already. I do not want to lose our friendship, but I also feel like I am being taken advantage of. In Belize, it is common for friends to help each other, but how do you deal with someone who does not keep their word? /s/ Personal loan
Dear Personal Loan,
Money is funny it can show you who a friend really is quicker than anything else. The hard part is you already know your answer: your friend has not kept his word. You gave out of kindness, but what you’re receiving back is excuses.
Here’s the balance: you don’t need to carry anger, but you also don’t need to make the same mistake twice. Be clear with him tell him you need him to start paying you back, even if it’s small amounts. Give him the chance to show some respect. But after that, if he continues to dodge, take it as a lesson. You didn’t lose a friend you found out that the friendship wasn’t as strong as you thought.
In Belize, helping each other is tradition, yes. But so is honesty. If someone wants the benefit of community, they have to hold up their end too. Next time, lend only what you can afford to let go of, and you’ll never feel trapped in this same way again. /s Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I work at a resort on the island, and sometimes tourists treat the staff like we are less than them. I try to stay polite, but inside I feel angry and disrespected. Some of my coworkers say to just smile and collect the paycheck, while others complain loudly and get in trouble with the boss. I am proud of my job, but I do not want to feel small every day. How can I handle this in a way that keeps my dignity and also keeps me out of trouble? /s/ A Proud Worker
Dear Proud Worker,
What you’re feeling is human. Nobody likes to be looked down on. But here’s the secret: your dignity isn’t in their hands. It’s in yours.
Some tourists will always act entitled it says more about them than it does about you. You don’t have to swallow anger, but you also don’t have to hand it back. Keep your head high, do your job with pride, and remember: serving someone doesn’t make you less, it makes you capable.
If you need a release, find ways outside of work to shake off the frustration—talk it out with someone you trust, or even laugh about it with coworkers when the shift is done. But on the floor, keep your cool. That’s how you win twice: you keep your paycheck, and you keep your self-respect.
Never confuse quiet with weakness. Sometimes the strongest move is not letting someone else’s bad manners disturb your peace. /s/ Dr. Love
Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]
