Monday, April 15, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofer: A Better Married Life

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Dennis-Wolfe-Wolfes-Woofers“Hey, Mr. Dennis.”
“Hey, Jose. How are you doing?”
“Not too good,” Jose said. “Especially when I’m out like this, buying tacos for nine children plus me and my wife. It gets expensive”
“Nine? The last time I saw you there were only eight.”
“Since then God blessed us with another one.”
“Maybe you should ask him not to bless you again.”
“Maybe so. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep for five years. I love to sleep in late on Sundays but every time those babies wakes us just when I’m dreaming good.”
“Perhaps it’s time to quit having children.”
“No worries about that. Me and the wife, we’re not romantic anymore.”
“Not romantic!? Jose, you better do something right away. You and your wife are too young to not be romantic. I’ve got just what you need.”
“What’s that, Mr. Dennis?”
“For the White Elephant Christmas party someone gave me a bottle of massage oil that I’m never going to use. I’m going to give it to you. All of the TV ads say it will do both you and your wife a lot of good.”
“Well, if you say so,” Jose said.
“How did that massage oil work out for you?” I asked Jose, the next time I saw him.
“It worked great. Me and the old lady have never been happier.”
“You look a lot more relaxed than the last time I saw you. I’m glad you got that oil.”
Jose said, “You know it didn’t come with instructions so we just put it right on the door knob every Saturday night.”
“The door knob? Why?”
“In the morning the babies can’t get in and we get to sleep late on Sunday.”

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