Wolfe’s Woofer: Taste This
Sunday, April 17th, 2016
“Mr. Dennis, will you have a beer with us?”
“Oh, no thanks, Augusto,” I said. “It’s too early for me to have a beer. I’m going to drink my coffee and read my book.”
“If you get thirsty come over and join us,” Luis said. “Mario is supposed to come and meet us when he gets back from the doctor.”
It was a beautiful mid-morning Saturday on the deck at the Holiday Hotel. My friends at the next table were obviously still carrying on the party from Friday night.
Augusto said, “Luis, you left the disco at about four o’clock and I didn’t see you again until just now. What happened to you?”
“It took a while to figure out what happened. I remembered being drunk, drunk, drunk and having a lot of sex. I woke up next to a real ugly woman so I knew I had made it home. How about you? Did your wife say anything about us going out drinking?”
Augusto laughed and said, “Hee-hee! She ain’t talking to me. She thinks it some kind of punishment.”
“Hey!” Luis said. “That’s Mario coming up the beach. Let’s get him a beer.”
“No, he already has drink in his hand,” Augusto said.
Mario, when he is sober and not in jail is my sometimes handyman.
“Hey Mr. Dennis,” he said. “I had an appointment with the doctor this morning for some tests about diabetes. That’s why I didn’t come to work yesterday.”
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked.
“I think I’m losing my sense of taste.”
“What do you mean losing your sense of taste?” Luis asked.
“Tell me if this tastes sweet to you.”
Luis took a big gulp from Mario’s cup and immediately spat it out.
“Ugh! That’s not sweet,” he said. “What made you think it’s going to taste sweet?”
“The doctor said my urine had a lot of sugar in it.”
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