Wolfe’s Woofer: The Worst Pain

Sunday, March 12th, 2017

“Mario called and said this evening he is going to pay back the ten dollars he borrowed from you last week,” Sherry said. “I’ll believe it when you show me the money.”
When I got to Mario’s he was sitting on the porch with Maria drinking a beer.
“I sure wish you had come earlier,” he said. “Maria’s brother came over and needed some money so I lent him your ten dollars. Can I borrow ten for me because now I’m short ten dollars?”
I had to laugh until I suddenly heard a shriek of pain.
“What was that?” I asked.
“Our neighbor, Elsa is having a baby at home tonight,” Maria answered, “and she’s having labor pains. It’s the worst pain in the world. That’s why women are stronger than men. They feel pain more.”
“No, they don’t,” Mario said. “Men feel pain more than women.”
“Mario, how can you say that?” Maria asked. “You seen the pain I went through having them four babies. What pain can a man have that’s worse?”
“Do you remember when were fighting that time and you kicked me in the crotch?”
“I couldn’t walk for a week.”
“O.K.” Maria said, “but what makes you think that’s more pain than having a baby?”
“Because we have had four babies,” Mario said, “but I have never snuggled up to you in the night and said, ~Maria, I sure would like to have another kick in the crotch.~”

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