Wolfe’s Woofer: Hair Remover
Sunday, December 9th, 2018
“Who’s a good girl?” Sherry said, to her little dog. “Ladybug’s a good girl—that’s who.”
“Stop treating that mutt like a person,” I said.
“What do you mean—mutt? Ladybug is a pure-bred miniature Schnauzer.”
“Most people don’t even know what a Schnauzer is,” I said. “To me, a Schnauzer is a hairy little yapping dog.”
“Speaking of hairs,” Sherry said. “I need to get rid of that hair in her ears. Take me to the drugstore and I’ll get some hair remover.”
“I need a depilatory cream,” she told the young lady behind the drugstore counter.
The girl looked confused.
“We got pills,” she said, “But what’s a depilatory?”
“A depilatory is something for removing hair,” Sherry told her.
“Oh, you mean hair remover,” the girl said.
She pulled a jar from the shelf behind her.
“This is the only hair remover we have in stock right now,” she said. “But this one is especially strong.”
“Is it dangerous?”
“No, but it can irritate the skin. If you use it under your arms, it’s best to wear a sleeveless blouse for a few days so it doesn’t get the skin inflamed. If you use it on your legs, you should wear a dress for a while.”
“I don’t need it for my underarms or my legs,” Sherry said. “It’s for my Schnauzer.”
“In that case you shouldn’t ride a bike for a week.”
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