Wolfe’s Woofer: Eulogy

Sunday, May 12th, 2019

“I have to deliver the eulogy at a funeral this afternoon,” Tom said, “but after that I have two days free. I hoped we could do some fishing.”
Tom and I met years ago when he was a novice priest just arriving to the country and we became good friends. His mission called him away to the mainland but we still stayed friends, visiting each other at least once every two months or so.
“I’d love to go fishing. Who is the eulogy for?”
“My parish covers a lot of small villages. In one of the villages there are two brothers who are outrageously bad. They own the only store in town and the only bar plus almost all of the property around the village. They’ve been bleeding the people dry for years.”
“They don’t sound like nice guys,” I said.
“Believe me, they’re not. The older brother died two days ago and the younger one approached me about delivering the eulogy. He wants me to mention that his brother was a saint.”
“You can’t do that can you?”
“He gave me the money and land to build a small chapel. Of course, I can.”
The meeting hall in the little village was packed for the eulogy.
Tom began by saying, “Beto Ortega was a terrible person. He robbed and abused people all of his life. He used his money for evil purposes and never showed the slightest remorse.”
As he continued listing Beto’s sins the congregation stole glances at his brother who grew obviously angrier by the minute.
Tom finished the eulogy by saying, “Beto was a bad and evil man but compared to his brother he was a saint.”

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