Thursday, May 30, 2024

Doctor Love: Opening a bottle of champagne


Dear Doctor Love,
I need some advice before this coming weekend. How can I open a bottle of champagne without having it explode all over the place? It seems that no matter how careful I am I always end up making a mess. Last year, a champagne cork flew off the bottle I was opening and hit my date in the forehead. One other time the bottle overflowed all over my pants and made it look like I peed myself. My new girl likes champagne as much as I do and I would like to be able to impress her. I want to do this smoothly and without embarrassing myself like I usually do.
And while you are at it, what is the quickest way to stop that hangover headache that I always seem to get with wine?
/s/ Grape Lover


Dear Grape,
The most obvious way to stop that hangover headache is to avoid drinking. Since you have already included hangover headache as part of your plan for the evening the Doctor will give you the second best remedy. Believe it or not, outside of heavy medication, the answer is coffee. This runs contrary to most belief because coffee is a stimulant but it is also a mild pain reliever. If you notice, some headache relief pills contain some caffeine.
The correct technique for open champagne bottles first involves removing that little chicken wire cage with the metal foil. Now, wrap a towel around the bottom of the bottle. Hold the towel around the bottle with one hand and grip the cork with the other hand. Rotate the bottle and the cork will come right out with no spewing and usually no fizzing. Notice that the important thing here is to rotate the bottle, not the cork. That is where people usually go wrong. Do it the opposite way and you’re going to pop your cork.
There should be no fizzing of the champagne if you open it correctly. However, keep a teaspoon nearby as you open the bottle. If, by chance, there is fizzing drop the teaspoon handle into the neck of the bottle and let the bowl of the spoon rest on the mouth of the bottle. The bubbles will collect on the handle and stay in the bottle.

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