Doctor Love: Already Gone and Unsigned

Sunday, June 12th, 2016

Readers, please send your letters. They can be emails, formal letters or handwritten notes. They are edited solely for grammar and spelling. Also, they are sometimes edited for length.Dr-Love
Dear Doctor Love,
When we got married my husband and I were very young. We made mutual commitments like no children, traveling often and paying a house off quickly. Now, it is twelve years later and I have moved out on my own. I don’t feel love for him anymore, I don’t enjoy his company or respect his intelligence like I used to. Mostly though, I feel like I was too young to make those agreements from twelve years ago that he reminds me of constantly.
I don’t want to hurt him and I find it is hard to talk about it with him but I want my life to change. I am barely thirty years old. I can’t see living like this for the rest of my life although he would be happy to do so. My friends and family are giving me a lot of trouble because they think this happened suddenly and they think I should go back and try again. When I listen to them I almost change my mind. How can I get everyone to accept the fact that it is done?
/s/ Already Gone

Dear Gone,
 The Doctor’s opinion on relationships has changed radically over the years. The answer used to be that there is always a chance of saving the situation. The truth is that in some cases, what is done is done. You can wrong him or he can wrong you. He can forgive you and you can forgive him. All of this makes no difference if the cuts are too deep. Resentment builds over the years and often takes far too much time and effort to ever overcome. If the fabric of the relationship has been ripped too far you are probably better off to move on.

Dear Doctor Love,
Our family dog lives with my mom and dad. The dog is now eighteen years old and has been around almost as long as I remember. For the last five years she has had health problems that should have already killed her. She is almost completely blind and deaf and has seizures from time to time. The vet recommends putting her out of her pain but my folks refuse. How can I get them to see what is right?
/s/ Unsigned

Dear Unsigned,
Your mom and dad are in charge of the dog. They brought it into the family and the decision of what to do with it is up to them. The dog is very dear to them. Leave them alone.

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