Readers, please send your letters. They can be emails, formal letters or handwritten notes. They are edited solely for grammar and spelling. Also, they are sometimes edited for length.
Dear Doctor Love,
I have a guy friend who grew up as my neighbor. We have been friends all the way through high school up to now and our only feelings towards each other have been as friends. It is almost an older brother, younger sister kind of thing.
I just got word that his girlfriend is probably going to move to the island. All of a sudden I am jealous because I know things are going to change between me and him. I have always avoided them when she came out to visit him here so I would not have to see them together. Now I feel like I need to take him out of my mind completely by getting involved with someone. That way what I feel won’t get in the way of our friendship. The problem with this idea is that I can’t find anyone else that I want.
What should I do?
/s/ Wanting More
Dear Wanting,
The first thing you should do is realize that nothing is static. Things never stay the same. Other people age, they get married, they move, they die and life goes on. In the meantime the same thing is happening to you although you don’t notice it.
You will not have your friend the same way forever. If you have feelings stronger than friendship now is the time to get your courage up and tell him. Otherwise, in a short time you will find him married and gone from your life.
Dear Doctor Love,
After twenty years of marriage my parents got divorced. My father left for another woman but a few months later he came back begging to be taken back. They are together again but are terribly unhappy. My mother and I both believe that he is still seeing someone else. She calls me all of the time and tells me her problems and asks my advice. My dad does the same thing. I do what I can but my boyfriend and I already have more problems than we can handle. This is making me a nervous wreck. What can I do?
/s/ On The Edge
Dear Edge,
You are their child and you will never be able to counsel them. You cannot look at the situation as talking to two strangers. You still see them as your parents. Tell them this and urge them to seek counseling. If they continue, every time they want to talk about it avoid the issue and don’t discuss the subject with them.
