Dear Doctor Love,
I have a close friend who works in the tourism industry just like me, and she seems to be doing so well, better than me. She is constantly traveling and living a pretty good life. Every time I see her success, instead of feeling happy for her, I end up comparing myself and feeling “less than.” I know she values our friendship and has never made me feel small, but I can’t help but think I’m falling behind. My job is basically the same thing as her, and it makes me question my own accomplishments. How do I stop these comparisons, build confidence in myself, and keep our friendship strong without letting my insecurities get in the way? /s/ Comparing to my friend
Dear Comparing to my friend,
Your feelings are more common than you think. The mind has a way of turning someone else’s success into a mirror that makes us question ourselves. But here’s the truth—her journey is not your journey. What looks like “better” from the outside never tells the whole story of someone’s life. You already have value, you already have achievements, and your worth was never meant to be measured against hers.
One way to break free of comparison is to turn it into connection. Take her out for coffee and let her know, “I love seeing how well you’re doing—it inspires me. Can you share some advice on how I can grow too?” If she’s the kind friend you believe she is, she’ll be glad to share what’s worked for her. Maybe she has a smart way of saving, maybe she picked up a side hustle, maybe she just found a rhythm that suits her. Whatever it is, instead of letting comparison create distance, you can let curiosity strengthen your bond.
Confidence grows when you stop looking sideways and start looking inward. And friendship grows when you choose honesty over silence. You don’t have to carry insecurity alone—you can use it as a bridge to learn and rise together. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I never realized until recently that my parents held such strong opinions about race and background in relationships. I’ve started dating someone I truly care about, but when I introduced them to my family, I was shocked at their reaction. They made it clear they don’t approve simply because my partner comes from a different cultural background. Growing up in Belize, I always thought we were a melting pot of people and that love could cross those lines, so this has left me feeling torn. I love my family and don’t want to disrespect them, but at the same time, I don’t want to give up a relationship that makes me genuinely happy. How do I navigate this clash between family loyalty and following my heart without losing one or the other? /s/ Between Race and Love
Dear Between Race and Love,
This is a hard one, because it pulls you between the people who raised you and the person who fills your heart. Belize is indeed a melting pot, but old beliefs can run deep, even in places where diversity is everywhere. The thing is, your parents’ views belong to them—you don’t have to carry them as your own.
Loving someone who makes you happy is not a betrayal of your family, it’s an act of living true to yourself. You can still respect your parents without letting their fears dictate your choices. With time, some families soften when they see love is real and lasting. But even if they don’t, you must decide which weight is heavier: living for their approval or living for your own happiness. Peace comes when you stop trying to please both sides and choose the path that honors your heart. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I’ve come to realize that I’m actually happy being single, even though everyone around me keeps asking when I’ll “settle down.” My friends joke that I should start looking for something serious, but honestly, the whole idea feels exhausting. Here in Belize, it seems like everybody knows everybody, and being in a traditional relationship comes with so much pressure and scrutiny. I’d rather enjoy my freedom, focus on myself, and if I feel like hooking up once in a while, I don’t see the harm. Still, sometimes I wonder if people are right and I’m just avoiding love altogether. Am I wrong for not wanting a conventional relationship, or is it okay to embrace single life without apologies? /s/ No Commitments
Dear No Commitments,
There is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing a life that feels right for you. Some people find joy in building a partnership, others find joy in freedom and self-focus. Both are valid, both are real, and neither makes you “less.”
Society has a way of pushing timelines and labels, but love is not something to check off a list. If being single makes you feel at peace, then that is your truth right now. And if one day love comes knocking and feels right, you’ll recognize it without needing to force it. Don’t let other people’s expectations plant doubt where there should be confidence. Happiness doesn’t follow a rulebook—it follows authenticity. /s/ Dr. Love
Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]
