Wolfe’s Woofers: Words of Wisdom

Sunday, December 22nd, 2013

“Hello, Dennis speaking.”
“Dennis, this is your big sister.”
“Geney, what’s up with you?” I asked. “Is everything going O.K. in West Virginia?”
“Not really,” she said. “Grandma is on her deathbed. You need to come home.”
When I got to West Virginia the whole family was gathered at the bed of my 103 year-old grandmother. She was a grand old lady who had lived a long and spiritual life, going to church at every opportunity.
“Grandma, you need to drink something,” my sister said.
“I’ll get her some warm milk,” said one of the great grand daughters.
They tried to get Grandma to have some milk but she would only take a little swallow. Then I remembered that I had two of the one ounce bottles of Jack Daniels that you get on the plane. While the milk was sitting unguarded, I took the bottles out of my pocket and poured their contents into the milk.
“Here, Grandma,” my sister said, when I handed her the glass. “Please try to drink some of this milk. It will make you feel so much better.”
Grandma drank a little and then she drank a little more. Her eyes opened wide and sparkling and she started singing a little bit. She polished off the milk and smacked her lips.
“Grandma,” Geney said. “Before you depart this earth, please leave us with some of your wisdom.”
The old lady propped herself up in bed on one elbow and looked at each of us in turn.
Then she said, “Whatever else you do, do not sell that cow!”


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