Wolfe’s Woofer: The Baddest Dog
Sunday, August 31st, 2014
“No; don’t give me any little lap dog, I want a dog that’s big and mean,” said the man sitting across the bar from me.”
“My Chihuahua that I’ve got tied by the door may be little but he’s mean enough for a big dog,” said the guy sitting next to him. “He’s a great watchdog, too.”
“Jose, that ain’t no real dog,” the first man replied. “Now, that big old bulldog I got at my house is a watchdog that keeps people out of the yard.
Jose said, “If my Chihuahua was outside he would run people out of the yard. My wife keeps him inside, though.”
Another guy joined them.
“Hey, Jose. Hey Rico,” he said. “Whose rat is that on a leash outside the door?”
“Armando, are you talking about my dog?” Jose asked. “He’s a purebred Chihuahua.”
“A purebred?” Armando laughed. “He’s not much bigger than my foot.”
Jose said, “It’s a fact that pound for pound the Chihuahua breed is one of the baddest on the planet. They’re just little.”
“You think my bulldog is not badder than your dog?” Rico asked. “My dog is probably the baddest dog on this island.”
Armando laughed at both of them.
“You think so? Go out and look at the dog I got tied up outside. He’s a Rottweiler that I just bought and he weighs ninety pounds. He would kick that bulldog’s butt.”
There was a commotion outside the door and Jose went to check on his dog. He came back in with a sad look on his face.
“Armando,” he said. “My Chihuahua just killed your Rottweiler.”
“What!? How did it happen?”
“My dog got stuck in your dog’s throat.”
Jock walks into a bar one day and stammers, ‘Does anyone here own that South Doberman Pinschers outside?’
‘Yeah, I do,’ a tattooed biker says, standing up. ‘What about it?’
“Well, I think my little scotty terrier just killed him.’
‘What are you talkin’ about?’ the biker says, disbelievingly. ‘How could your little runt kill my Doberman?’
‘Well,’ mumbled Jock, ‘it appears that he got stuck in your dog’s throat.’
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