Saturday, April 20, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofer: Happy and Mad


“Hey Mr. Dennis; I thought I would find you here.”
I was sitting on the deck at the Holiday Hotel enjoying my morning coffee from Celi’s Deli when Mario walked up to my table and sat down.
“Hello, Mario.” I said. “Ooh, that is some black eye you got there. How did you get it?”
After he chugged down his beer he said. “I got this black eye for something I said. I had a chance to do a good job last week that paid two hundred dollars for one day but I got drunk the night before and I couldn’t wake up. My friend Jaime got the job.”
“That’s a shame,” I said.
“Yeah, Maria she give me hell. She said I should feel like an idiot. I told her ‘no’; I feel happy and mad at the same time. I’m mad I didn’t get the job but I’m happy for Jaime. She said that’s stupid because you can’t be happy and mad at the same time.”
“I know what you’re talking about,” I said. “It’s kind of like watching your mother-in- law drive over a cliff in your brand new car. But why did you get that black eye?”
“I told Maria that if somebody gave her a compliment she would be happy but she could be mad, too depending on what the compliment was. So I gave her a compliment and she banged me with the frying pan.”
“I told her that out of her and all of her sisters she kisses the best.”

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