Dear Doctor Love,
My best friend and I grew up together here in San Pedro. From primary school days to now, we have always been like brothers. Recently, he asked me to cosign a loan so he could buy a boat for a business. He says this is his big chance to get independent and stop working for other people.
I really want to support him, but the bank told me plain and straight that if he misses payments, the responsibility falls on me. I don’t have extra money lying around, and I’m scared of ending up in debt. When I told him this, he said I’m not a “real friend” if I can’t help him, and now he hardly talks to me.
Doctor Love, I feel torn. I want to see him succeed, but I also feel pressured and guilty because I know what could happen if things go wrong. Should friendship mean putting myself at risk like this? /s/ Stuck Between Loan and Loyalty
Dear Stuck Between Loan and Loyalty,
Friendship doesn’t mean chaining yourself to somebody else’s mistakes. A true brother would never put you in a position where your whole future is at risk. The bank spelled it out clear—if he can’t pay, it’s on you. That’s not loyalty, that’s a trap.
It’s good to want to see your friend succeed, but your support doesn’t have to come at the cost of your own peace. If he calls you “not a real friend” because you won’t put yourself in debt for him, that’s his pride talking, not truth. Real friendship respects boundaries. Stand your ground. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I have been married for 15 years and live here in San Pedro with my husband and our three children. Just recently, I found out he has another woman in the USA. I discovered messages and photos on his phone when he left it open one night. When I confronted him, he swore it was nothing serious, just “a fling” from when he travels for work, he drives down cars for resale. He promised me he would end it and said he does not want to lose our family.
But I feel completely betrayed. We built our life together, and I thought we were solid. Now I can’t stop wondering if this is the only time, or if there were others. He acts like I should forgive and forget because he came back home to me, but the trust is broken.
Doctor Love, I don’t want to destroy my family or hurt my children, but I also don’t want to live pretending everything is fine when my heart feels torn apart. Can trust ever come back after something like this, or am I fooling myself? /s/ Completely Heartbroken
Dear Completely Heartbroken,
Betrayal shakes the ground right out from under you. You’re not wrong for feeling torn up, and you don’t owe him quick forgiveness just because he says “it was nothing.” What you saw was real, and the hurt you feel is real.
Can trust come back? Sometimes but only if both people put in the work. That means no secrets, no excuses, and a whole lot of patience. He has to rebuild what he broke, not just expect you to forget it. You don’t have to decide right away whether to stay or leave. Right now, it’s enough to honor your feelings and take care of yourself.
If you stay, do it because you believe he’s truly willing to change. If you leave, do it because your heart deserves peace. Either way, you’re not a failure you’re a woman choosing truth over pretending. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I have been working in a kitchen at a busy restaurant here in San Pedro for almost two years. At first, I liked the job because I enjoy cooking and being around people, but lately it has been very stressful. The chef shouts at us when orders pile up, some coworkers do not pull their weight, and the hours are long and hot. By the time I get home, I am exhausted and barely have time for my family.
I know working in a kitchen is not easy, but sometimes I feel like I am being taken advantage of because I always stay late and do extra without getting any thanks. Part of me wants to quit, but the tips and steady paycheck help me pay my bills.
How do I know if it’s worth staying in this job or if it’s time to move on? /s/ Burnt Out in the Kitchen
Dear Burnt Out in the Kitchen,
The kitchen heat is one thing, but when it starts burning out your spirit, that’s another story. Work should help you build your life, not take it all away. Right now, you’re giving more than you’re getting, and that imbalance will wear you down fast.
Ask yourself this: if nothing changed at that job for the next year, would you still want to be there? If the answer is no, it’s time to start looking at your options. You’ve built real skills you can take those anywhere, whether it’s another kitchen, a bakery, or even your own hustle.
You don’t have to quit tomorrow, but don’t stay chained to something that leaves you empty. Start planning your exit while you still have the strength. Your peace of mind is worth more than tips. /s/ Dr. Love
Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]
