Wolfe’s Woofer: Marriage Stone

Sunday, April 15th, 2018

“Well, climbing up that ruin certainly wasn’t very much fun.”
“I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy it,” the tour guide said. “Most people do.”
“Don’t pay any attention to Helen,” one of the tour group members said. “So far she hasn’t been happy with anything on our vacation.”
I had been in San Ignacio and decided to visit the ruins at Caracol. While there, I had fastened myself to a group of tourists out of Belize City who, with the exception of Helen, were enjoying themselves immensely.
“It’s way too hot out here. Why don’t they have a juice bar for refreshment?” Helen asked.
“Lady,” the guide said, “We’re in the middle of the jungle.”
“Still, there’s no reason why things can’t be civilized,” she said. “even just a temporary bar would do. I sure could use a mai tai right now.”
I’ll say this much for the woman—she was persistent as well as annoying. She never quit bitching during the entire tour.
As we left the park the guide said, “You’ll notice the large smooth stone behind the fence near the exit. It is known locally as the Marriage Stone. Local Maya people swear that anyone who kisses it will meet their future mate within a short time.”
“I’ll try it,” Helen said. “It’s cheaper than on-line dating service.”
“I’m sorry,” the guide said. “That part of the park is already closed. They’ve already locked the gates but perhaps you can do it on your next visit.”
“Well, that’s pretty dumb,” Helen said. “I’ll never be back here so I’ll never get to kiss that stupid rock.”
“Legend is that it works just as well if you kiss the lips of someone who has kissed the stone,” the guide told her.”
“Let me guess,” she said. “This is the part where you tell me that you’ve kissed it.”
“No ma’am, but I have sat on it.”

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