Tuesday, May 28, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofer: Fishing Stories


“Three large coffees, please.” I told the lady at Celi’s Deli.
By the time I walked over to the deck of the Holiday Hotel Mario was already walking up from the beach.
“Good morning, Mr. Dennis. I need that coffee this morning. The snappers is running so I went fishing last night and didn’t get in until three a.m.”
Mario is my friend and he’s my yardman, when he feels like working. This morning he and Vernon were scheduled to plant two large palm trees for me. When Vernon arrived, he looked like he hadn’t had much sleep either.
“Oh, thanks for that coffee,” he said to me. “I went fishing last night and I’m tired this morning.”
“Me, too,” Mario told him. “I was fishing down by the bridge.
“I fished off the municipal dock,” Vernon said. “I caught twelve nice snappers.”
“Only twelve?” Mario asked. “I caught sixteen.”
“Maybe so, but I caught six boney fish, too. Did you catch any boney fish?”
“No, I didn’t catch no boney fish but I’ll tell you what I did catch. I caught a grouper that weighed twenty-three pounds.”
Vernon said, “That’s a real big grouper to be caught down by the bridge. You sure he was that big?”
“Dead sure,” Mario told him. “I weighed him when I got home.”
“I caught something that I bet you never seen,” said Vernon. “You know those old kerosene lamps? I hooked one and pulled it up and believe it or not, that thing was still lit.”
“Vernon, you’re lying,” Mario said. “I don’t believe you for a minute.”
“I’ll tell you what,” Vernon said. “You take ten pounds off that grouper and I’ll blow out the lamp.”

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