Tuesday, July 23, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofer: Weird Jobs


“I worked in a place even weirder than that when I was in the U.S.” Marlon said. “I was a bartender in Miami at a place called The Working Man’s Bar.”
“Tell us about it,” I said.
“First off, me and the bartender was the only two people there from two o’clock when the bar opened until about five o’clock. Finally, I asked the bartender what was going on.”
“The bartender said, ‘It’s slow now but in thirty minutes that noisy factory across the street is going to shut down. This place is going to fill up with thirsty people. Oh, by the way, the factory only hires deaf people and they speak sign language.’”
“I don’t speak no sign language,” I told him.”
“He said, ‘All we serve in this bar is beer and shots of whisky. If they hold up one finger they’re ordering beer. Two fingers means a shot. You got that? Good, because I have to leave for a couple of hours and you’ll be handling everything yourself.’”
“He left and sure enough, that bar filled up. For the first hour I didn’t even have time to think. One finger, two fingers, all over the bar.”
“All of a sudden a guy in the corner starts waving his hands around in the air. I go running over with a beer and he shakes his head no. I run back with a shot and he still says no. Somebody on the other side of the room raises his arms and starts shaking his hands around. I run over with a beer and a shot and he shakes his head no.”
“I call the bartender and ask what’s going on. He says, ‘What do you mean?’ I told him everything was fine for the first hour with everybody holding up ones and twos all over the bar but now they’re all starting to wave their hands in the air.”
“’I forgot to warn you about that,’ he said. ‘They’re drunk and they’re starting to sing.’”

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