Sunday, September 28, 2025

Wolfe’s Woofer by Melody S. Wolfe – Jungle Juice

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This year we were marching with Island Jungle—feathers fluffed, music blasting, and plenty of jungle juice going around. Before we set off, I warned the guys, “Careful now… you don’t wanna end up as a meme tomorrow.”
Sure enough, somewhere around Elvi’s Kitchen, I look up and can’t find Irving. He’s got that sprained ankle, so I’m thinking maybe he finally gave out. I start making my way to the back of the parade—past the high school marching band, past Faith’s parade, past Tropic Air.
And then I see it: Irving, hanging off one side of a truck, one good foot down, bad ankle stuck straight up, still bruking down like it’s a new dance move. And on the other side? Toshia—who I normally lose—hanging off too, feathers crooked, waving like she’s leading the parade. A bunch of kids are just pointing and laughing at them!
I had to yell, “Guys! Please get off—that’s the Lion Clubs Kids float! I told you easy on the Jungle Juice!!

The events and characters depicted in Wolfe’s Woofer by Melody S. Wolfe are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. The column is intended for satire and entertainment purposes only.

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