Saturday, February 8, 2025

Doctor Love: Aftermath of an affair

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Dear Doctor Love,
My son destroyed his first marriage by having an affair with a neighbor, leading to a messy fallout. The two oldest children want nothing to do with him or his new family. My son is fixated on pushing his new partner into the family. My son keeps insisting that if he forces the two daughters together, they will bond, despite the obvious tension. His new wife blames the ex for the estrangement, which feels unfair. I keep advising my son to ease off and give the kids room to work the issue out, but he won’t listen. What should I do? /s/ Aftermath of an affair

Dear Aftermath of an Affair,
As his mother, it is understandable that you want the best for your son, but obviously, he is an adult who should be responsible for his actions. Clearly, he has made decisions in life that have consequences that now affect his family. You may be right in suggesting that giving space and time to the situation will help sort things out. What your son does is his own decision. Take your own advice and ease off. /s/ Dr. Love

Dear Doctor Love,
My sister had her first child as a teenager, and as her older sister, I stepped in to help her and my nephew. Now, I’m very close to my nephew, who is now 13 years old. When he was 8, his mom got married and had two children with her husband. However, my nephew had a hard time adjusting to the new family dynamics. He went from being an only child to having both siblings and a father. As he has entered his teenage years, he is finding it even more challenging at home and has asked me if he can move in with me. I live with my partner, and we don’t intend to have kids. I have spoken to my partner, and he is okay with having my nephew live with us. Now, I am unsure how to bring this topic up with my sister. I don’t want her to feel like I am taking her child away. How can I address this while considering both my nephew’s and sister’s feelings? /s/ Aunt in Distress

Dear Aunt in Distress,
Helping our siblings raise their children can be challenging but often rewarding. It sounds like taking this young man under your care would be a good move and your sister may be more than receptive to the idea if approached with compassion and understanding. Assure her that it may be best for her son and that you are not trying to make him your own. She may appreciate this opportunity for not only her son, but it may allow her to focus more on the two younger children. A win-win for all! /s/ Dr. Love

Dear Doctor Love,
As the new year approaches, the “new me” initiative begins. From family to friends, it seems everyone is making New Year’s resolutions. However, I’m struggling to figure out what my own resolution should be. I know there are many ways I can improve my life, but I don’t know where to start. What are some small New Year’s resolutions you would recommend for someone who is having difficulty making up their mind? /s/ New Year Resolution

Dear New Year Resolution,
New Year’s resolutions always seem like good ideas but often fail because they require drastic changes that are not easy to make. If there are measures you can take to improve your life, consider making those changes in small actions, which eventually add to significant improvements. Like scheduling a day each week when you clean, pick up your house, do laundry, or reach out to loved ones. You’d be surprised what a difference it can make! /s/ Dr. Love

Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]

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