Dear Doctor Love,
I need help addressing my boyfriend’s negative attitude about work. We’ve been together for nearly three years, and while our relationship is great, his job dissatisfaction is tough to handle. Over our time together, he has changed jobs multiple times, and he always has an excuse for why he needs to quit. I understand that work can be frustrating, but his constant complaining can be overwhelming. I worry that he doesn’t appreciate how good he has it.
Right now, he has a solid position with a company that offers growth opportunities. He doesn’t have crazy working hours, and I think it’s a great job for him. Yet, once again, he is ready to quit. I want to support him in his decision, but I also want him to realize the importance of maintaining a job long-term. /s/ Boyfriend’s work ethic
Dear Boyfriend’s Work Ethic,
It sounds like you’re walking the tightrope between supporting your boyfriend and wanting him to see his situation from a healthier perspective. First off, you’re not wrong to feel frustrated—it’s tough to hear someone complain about something they have the power to change, especially when their circumstances seem decent.
Start with a conversation that’s more about curiosity than criticism. Ask him what’s really bothering him about work. Is it the work itself, his coworkers, or is he searching for something deeper, like purpose? Sometimes people fall into a pattern of dissatisfaction because they don’t know what they truly want. Help him see the big picture: frequent job changes can make it harder to grow professionally and financially.
At the same time, let him know you’re his teammate, not his manager. You can encourage him to find solutions—whether that’s committing to this role for a set period, seeing a career coach, or tackling stress in healthier ways. But remember, you can’t fix this for him.
Stay kind but firm when the complaining becomes too much. Something like, “I hear you, and I know this job isn’t perfect, but I believe you can find ways to make it better.” It keeps the door open for positivity while setting boundaries.
Hang in there—growth takes time, and so does learning to find joy in work.
Yours truly, Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love
I went on a date with a guy from our friend’s circle, and we agreed there was no romantic spark. He’s been messaging me friendly but keeps suggesting meet-ups, which I decline. Recently, he started sending topless selfies and making sexual jokes. I find this behavior creepy and want to communicate that it’s unacceptable without being too aggressive. Am I being overly sensitive? /s/ Only a friend
Dear Only a Friend,
First off, you’re not being overly sensitive—your instincts are spot on. A friendly vibe is one thing, but the topless selfies and sexual jokes are crossing a line. It’s not just creepy; it’s disrespectful, especially since you’ve been clear that there’s no romantic interest.
You don’t need to tiptoe around this. Address it directly, but with a firm tone. Try saying, “I appreciate that we’re friends, but the messages and jokes are making me uncomfortable. I’d like you to stop.” If he respects you, he’ll back off. If not, you have every right to block or distance yourself.
Also, check in with yourself about boundaries. If this is someone in your friend circle, you may need to let a mutual friend know what’s happening, especially if his behavior persists. Protecting your comfort and peace is never something to feel guilty about.
Keep it simple and direct—you owe this guy nothing more than clarity.
With care, Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I’ve always heard about the issues families face over inheritance, particularly when it comes to land. However, I never thought I would find myself in this situation at the age of 30. I have two siblings, and my father passed away when I was in my early twenties. Since then, my mother managed all family affairs. We aren’t a wealthy family, but my dad had purchased an acre of land where we live. My mother passed away about two years ago, and we have grieved and moved on with our lives since then. The problem arose a few weeks ago when my oldest brother informed my middle sister and me that he plans to sell the family property. We were both surprised, as we had long hoped to keep the property in the family and perhaps even build multiple houses there if needed. However, my brother is now claiming that, as the oldest sibling, he can do whatever he wants with the property, and he wants to sell it. There is no written will, so my sister and I have contacted a lawyer for guidance. Unfortunately, this situation is straining our relationships with one another. While we are ready to face the legalities of the matter, how do I deal with the emotional part? I don’t want to have a strained relationship with my brother over money. /s/ Selling the family land
Dear Selling the Family Land,
Navigating family conflicts over inheritance is one of the most challenging emotional terrains, especially when there’s a mix of grief, memories, and differing priorities. The fact that you’re thinking about preserving the relationship shows how much your family means to you.
Start by separating the legal side from the emotional side. You’ve done the right thing by seeking legal counsel—that’s how you’ll get clarity on your rights. From there, focus on communication. Sit down with your siblings (ideally in a neutral setting) and express your feelings, not your accusations. For example: “This land represents so much more than property to me. It’s about our family’s history and future.”
Ask your brother about his motivations—sometimes, financial struggles or a desire to “move on” can push people toward decisions they might not fully understand the consequences of. If he’s set on selling, explore compromises. Could you and your sister buy out his share? Or agree on a partial sale?
Above all, remind him that no matter what happens with the land, the bond you share as siblings is worth more than any property. Even if you don’t see eye to eye now, keeping the lines of communication open can help repair things over time.
Stay steady, and lead with love.
Sincerely, Dr. Love
Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]