Wednesday, May 22, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofer: Mistress


“Hello, Mr. Dennis,” Juan said. “I believe you know my wife.”
I said, “I do. Good morning Doña Dolores.”
Juan and his wife took a table close to mine on the deck of the Holiday Hotel and ordered their lunch. Just as they finished their meal a lady who looked like a tourist walked up from the beach and on to the deck. As she passed their table she stopped and gave Juan a big kiss. Then she continued her way through the hotel and out the front door.
Dolores was dumbfounded but not for long.
“Who was that put. . .put. . .put. . .?!”
She sounded like a scooter with a bad muffler.
“Who was that woman?” she finally managed to ask.
“Mi amor! Mi amor! Don’t get vexed,” Juan said. “I can explain.”
“Start explaining fast,” Dolores said. “Before I go find her and punch her up.”
“She’s my mistress.”
Dolores was so angry her face was turning a bright purple.
“Remember when I needed a boat to start the fishing business?” Juan said. “This is the lady that gave me the money for it.”
“Yeh. She gave me the money for the down payment on our house and she pays the tuition for Juanito’s school. Think about this, too before you go punching her up. She’s only here one month every year.”
As Dolores sat there in shock, Vernon stepped out on the deck with a lovely lady on his arm. The lady was definitely not Yolanda, his wife.
“Juan, who is that woman with Vernon?” Dolores asked.
“That’s his mistress.”
Dolores said, “Ours is prettier.”

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