Wednesday, May 22, 2024

Doctor Love: Are we just a bunch of cheaters?

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Dear Dr. Love,
My girlfriends and I talked the other night about how messed up many relationships are here on the island; there’s always a scandal to gossip about! I asked, name one marriage you admire….we went down the list of so-and-so, and every one of them had some infidelity over the years, including our parents! So, we asked ourselves, if cheating is the norm around here, why are we always shocked? Maybe we should just accept that behavior instead of being outraged? After a few drinks, we really debated this, and someone suggested we ask you! What do you think?
/s/ Are we just a bunch of cheaters?

Dear, Are we just a bunch of cheaters,
Living on an island, where everyone knows everyone, it’s no wonder you feel like cheating is everywhere. But remember, just because you hear about it a lot doesn’t make it okay. Cheating breaks trust, which is key in any relationship.
You’re shocked by cheating because, deep down, you and your friends value honesty and trust. The fact that cheating seems normal on the island doesn’t mean you have to accept it for yourselves.
Gossip spreads like wildfire on an island, making it seem like cheating is more common than it might actually be. In a small community, every story gets amplified, so it feels like everyone is doing it.
Focus on what you really want in a relationship. Aim for honesty and trust. Every relationship has its challenges, but cheating doesn’t have to be one of them. You get to decide what’s okay and what’s not in your own relationships.
Stay true to what you believe is right, and you’ll find the kind of relationship you’re looking for, even in a place where gossip makes everything seem bigger than it is.
Take care, Dr. Love

Dear Dr. Love,
My wife and I have three kids, and we both work really hard to pay the bills. We try to go by a budget, and my wife insists we always put away $100 a month for date night. We love to go out and have some drinks and leave the kids with my mom for the night. Although we have a good time, I worry we aren’t being responsible. One night is fun, but we have nothing to show for it the next day except for a goma usually. Don’t you think our money is better spent?
/s/ Trying to be responsible

Dear Trying to be responsible,
First off, where on the island are you going that you can have a whole night out for $100 with two people? That sounds like a steal! But jokes aside, your wife is onto something very important. Date nights are a cornerstone of maintaining a healthy and vibrant relationship, especially amidst the hustle and bustle of working and raising kids.
Your concern about being responsible with your finances is absolutely valid. It’s clear you’re dedicated to providing for your family and making wise choices with your money. However, investing in your relationship is just as important as investing in physical assets or savings. Think of it this way: the memories and connection you build during those date nights are invaluable assets to your marriage. While having a fun night out is great, date nights don’t always have to mean spending a lot of money or waking up with a hangover. There are plenty of ways to enjoy each other’s company without breaking the bank. Here are a few suggestions:
Picnic under the stars. Pack a simple meal and head to a dock or one of the picnic tables at the park by Boca del Rio. Spending time in nature and quiet time together can be very romantic and practically free. Explore the Island: Go swimming, drive up north. Pack a lunch and snacks.
Remember, the goal of date night is to spend quality time together, reconnect, and strengthen your bond. It’s not about how much money you spend, but about the memories you create and the love you share.
Taking time for your relationship is a wise investment in your family’s happiness and well-being. So, keep up the date nights, but feel free to get creative with how you spend them. Your relationship—and your wallet—will thank you.
Warmly, Dr. Love

Dear Dr. Love,
I have a co-worker who believes in obeah. I’ve never paid much attention to it, although a lot of people I know do. My co-worker is always talking about how she can make bad things happen to people she doesn’t like or who have done her wrong. I really don’t like working with her, she is lazy and talks her talk all the time. Now I am worried if I make her mad she will do her bad magic on me. I know it sounds silly but I am afraid of her now. What do I do? /s/ Keep your magic to yourself

Dear Keep your magic to yourself,
For ages, people have been into magic and thinking that what we believe can actually change stuff around us. Everyone has different things they believe in. If your co-worker really thinks her magic works, maybe it does for her. But if you don’t believe in it, you don’t have to let it bother you. What you believe in gets strong because you believe in it.
About your co-worker who talks about using magic for bad stuff, it’s tough to deal with. Especially if you’re worried she might target you if she gets upset. Just remember, if you don’t buy into the magic thing, it can’t touch you. Your own beliefs are like a shield.
But it’s not cool to have to listen to her talk about doing harm. You might want to tell her straight up that you’re not okay with hearing about that stuff. If she keeps it up, or if it starts making work a hard place to be, it might be time to chat with your boss. Work should be a place where you feel okay.
Also, try sticking with people at work who lift you up and think about happy things. Believing in positivity can make you feel a lot better.
If all this talk still has you worried, there’s no harm in using a bit of protection yourself. I know many Belizeans wear a red bracelet to keep the bad juju away. It’s a simple way to remind yourself that you’re safe and to keep the negativity out. It’s all about what makes you feel secure and positive.
Remember, your beliefs are your power, so focus on what makes you feel good and strong.
Take care, Dr. Love

Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]

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