Friday, June 21, 2024

Doctor Love: Hot and unhappy family

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Dear Dr. Love,
My wife and I have three teenage kids. Usually, we don’t fight, but we are all hot and cranky with the extreme heat and power outages lately! During the 15+ hour outage last week, we almost came to blows! Why is the heat making us so crazy? /s/ Hot and unhappy family
Dear Hot and Unhappy Family,

Dr. Love here, sipping coconut water under a palm tree and feeling your pain across the waves. Listen, it’s no surprise that the blazing heat and the power cuts have everyone feeling as fried as a coconut shrimp! When you’re all sweating and cranky, even the tiniest annoyance can make tempers flare!
Heat cranks up the stress hormones, and without a breeze from the fan or a cool spot to escape to, it’s like a pot about to boil over. Toss three teens into the mix, and it’s a recipe for a family meltdown.
Find a shady spot and pretend you’re on vacation together. Play some chill tunes, share a watermelon or popsicles if you can, and ride out those sticky hours like a team. You’ll come out stronger—and with a story you’ll laugh about later.
So, hang loose, stay hydrated, and remember, even on the hottest days, it’s better to be cool together than cranky apart.
Sending breezy vibes from the island, Dr. Love

Dear Doctor Love,
Juanita has been my best friend since we were five years old. We grew up beside each other and are more like sisters than friends. She is more sociable than I am, and since we started high school this year, she has made some new friends who don’t seem to like me very much. Sometimes, I think they talk about me, and Juanita doesn’t seem very nice. I am so sad that we don’t spend as much time together anymore. I try not to be jealous, but I miss her. What can I do? /s/ Missing my best friend

Dear Missing My Best Friend,
It’s tough when a friendship that’s practically family starts to change. Juanita has made some new friends, and it’s natural to feel a little sidelined when she’s hanging out with them more often.
The best move here? Talk to her directly. Not in a blaming way, but more like, “Hey, I miss spending time with you.” She might not realize how her new friendships have made you feel left out. You’ve known each other forever, so there’s a strong foundation for an open conversation.
Meanwhile, try to find some new activities or hobbies that make you happy too. Friendships ebb and flow but having a little extra positivity in your own life can help fill that gap while you both adjust to the new social circles.
Remember that it’s okay to feel sad or even a bit jealous. But as you navigate this change, stay true to your own vibe, and you might just find that your friendship with Juanita can grow stronger through it.
Wishing you good vibes, Dr. Love

Dear Doctor Love,
When my girlfriend and I first started dating a couple of years ago, I made the mistake of cheating on her. Before she could find out, I confessed my mistake and begged her to forgive me. It took almost a year before we got back on track, and although we are good now, she brings it up when we argue, even though we were quarreling about something else! I have been faithful ever since, but it’s the same old issue time and again. How can I get her to GET OVER IT and stop trying to make me feel bad? /s/ Faithful now but tired

Dear Faithful Now but Tired,
It’s rough when old mistakes keep coming back like a bad rerun. You came clean about your past, asked for forgiveness, and have been loyal ever since, which shows your dedication. But it’s clear that your girlfriend’s still feeling that sting.
The thing is, trust doesn’t just snap back like a rubber band—it needs time and reassurance to rebuild. Even if she’s forgiven you, those old wounds might still be sensitive. When it gets brought up, try to listen without defensiveness, and acknowledge her feelings instead of focusing on getting her to move past it. Reiterate that you’re all in now and committed to the relationship.
Also, have a calm conversation when you’re not in the heat of an argument. Let her know that while you understand her concerns, you want to work together to strengthen the relationship and avoid revisiting old hurts. Ask her how you can support her to help her feel more secure.
Ultimately, if the issue keeps cropping up despite your efforts, it might be worth considering couples’ therapy. An unbiased third party could help both of you better communicate and finally put this behind you.
Wishing you both smoother sailing, Dr. Love

Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]

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